- Self defence.
You’ll learn how to defend yourself from unknown attackers. Pfft, like thats ever gonna happen…
- You’ll get fit pretty quickly.
HA! Why do I need to be fit? Walking to the fridge requires zero fitness.
- You’ll have sooooo much fun.
“OoooOOOoOOoo look at me, look at how much fun I’m having with my new friends learning a new skill”. *Gag*. Next!
- Overall self-improvement.
Oh God, here he goes with all that cheesy bullsh*t. Thanks Mr Miyagi. Who wants a new level of focus at work anyway? Not as if I actually wanted a promotion or anything.
- Surprisingly, it will make you more calm.
I AM CALM!!!
- Improved mental health.
No jokes or satire here. New hobbies/interests/passion projects PLUS a boost in your self-confidence can improve your mental health greatly.
- You’ll sleep better.
That means less coffees for you. I’m sorry, I know them those Salted Caramel Mocha Supercalifrappucinos from Starbucks are fantastic but now you won’t need 8 a day.
There. Are you happy now? All my reasons to NEVER pick up Martial Arts of any kind. EVER! I’m serious. OK? Thanks. Bye.